Make it substantial . Do it . Let the intrusive thought profits .
Today , the Pokemon Company announced that a new great - sized plush will be tot to the roster . Wailord , the mammoth whale Pokemon isnow available for pre - orderon the Pokemon Center internet site . There is just one glower problem with it . This plush is only one - tenth the shell of the literal Wailord . How am I supposed to swot up this matter into my tiny Brooklyn apartment and completely disrupt for roommates with something so small ?
Make the Wailord Pokemon Plush Life Size You Cowards
The plush comes in at rough 58 inch ( 4 3/4 feet long . ) This is just totally too small . Sure , it would correspond nicely on my couch or bed , but I want this thing to be aproblem . I require to disrupt everyone in my household with a Wailord plush that is real sizing .
The Pokedex entry for Wailord put forward that it is 47 feet , and I demand the Pokemon Company give me a 47 - human foot plush . I need it to take up my entire apartment and then some . Let me realise what living with an actual Wailord would look like . I could polish off all of my furniture , sentimental objects , and bed . I could become wholly consumed by the Wailord . Heck , I could even draw a Gippetto and go inside the whale ’s mouth for a while .
If there ’s any Pokemon to go buck wild with and make an improbably ludicrous and ineffective plush , it would have been Wailord . Fans could go into massive debt and spend thou of dollars to forever have to employ HM04 to plainly navigate around this thing .
With a life - size Wailord , I could be the talk of the town . Taking this gravid boy to the local coffee shop , forcing everyone to leave because there would not be enough space to put up anything but this plush . It would be the ultimate deterrent to people stopping me on the street . They would see me add up with a 47 - foot hulk and carry the other path .
Just face at this persona and guess if it all consume that lady hold it . How funny would that be ?
We ’re not run for what make the most sense here ; we ’re going for the most harebrained plush ever created . I think back to seeing Wailord in Pokemon Sword and Shield and how it take up all 6 inch of my Nintendo Switch screenland just to see the side of it . I require that in existent lifespan , where I ca n’t see the TV unless I stick out on a six - foot ravel and squint .
Image from The Pokemon Center
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I can still dream of the life - size Wailord plush , and the one - tenth ordered series option is n’t bad , but I was so ready to hand over all of my money for the bite . My roommates and neighbors will thank me , and I wo n’t have Bank of America calling to ask if this was a fraudulent charge , so I guess I can still be grateful for that .
However , this is how I am trying to be with the life - size Wailord of my dreams .
Is this full web log an insane thing to write ? utterly , but there is no end to my madness ; I just need The Pokemon Company to let the intrusive thoughts win every once and a while . What if years from now , there was a landfill crammed with 47 foot recollective Wailords because we had to ban them , I go for to write that news fib one day .
